How Parents Demotivate Their Children And How To Stop It
"Look at your cousins. They are achievers at school. How about you? What are you planning to do?"
Have you ever received similar comments like this from your parents? If there is an inside joke where all Asian countries can relate to, it is how Asian parents love to compare their children to others. For parents, it is how they motivate their kids. But it isn't how their children receive it. It is somehow demotivating. There are many articles on the internet about how to motivate children, but only a few discuss what demotivates them.
If you are looking for articles about parenting tips in Singapore, you are in the right place. Here are the things that demotivate children.
Being Obsessed With Achievement
Parents tend to measure the value of their children based on their achievements. But in reality, grades, awards, and recognition do not really measure the accomplishment of kids, especially with a flawed education system.
Although academics are important, other things are much more essential learnings in life that can be measured by any system-- morals and ethics. Your child may have a chance to cheat in the exams and get an A, but instead, choose to answer honestly, knowing they will fail the exam.
In early childhood education courses in Singapore, honesty is one of the first things that are being taught in children.
So, what should parents do to balance morals and ethics and academics? Make learning fun! Children love fun and games! Participating in games motivates children more than rewards. Games also teach children sportsmanship, perseverance, and teamwork which are essential life skills.
Lack Of Open Communication
Children do many terrible things. That is because they still yet know the consequences and implications of their actions. Many parenting tips and hacks in Singapore encourage open communication in the household.
Instead of nagging and corporal punishment, parents should explain to their children why their actions are wrong. What are the consequences of the action, and what should they do next time?
Listening to children's explanations and reasons instead of dismissing them encourages open communication. Children become more honest with their mistakes as well. They also feel their feelings and opinions are valid.
One tip on how to motivate your children and avoid frustration is keeping the communication line open.
Corporal Punishments
Many parents still use corporal punishments to discipline their children. It includes spanking, slapping, and pinching children.
Although corporal punishment can bring immediate behavior change in children, it has more negative effects.
Firstly, corporal punishment could easily lead to child abuse.
Secondly, studies have shown that children who have received corporal punishment tend to be more violent and aggressive than others.
Thirdly, corporal punishments damage the parent-child relationship.
Early childhood education courses in Singapore teach alternative ways to discipline children. It includes teaching self-control, reinstitution like giving extra chores and taking away privileges like toys and electronics in the meantime.
Lack of Acknowledgement and Recognition
Children look up to their parents very much. Getting their parents' acknowledgement and recognition for their good deeds motivates children.
However, another inside joke among Asians is that Asian parents are very hard to impress and please.
It will not hurt if parents will be a bit generous with their praises. Genuine positive comments from parents inspire and motivate children and build their self-worth.
Included in these parenting tips in Singapore is cut down on comparisons. Every child is different. They have different sets of skills, talents, and strengths. It is better to refrain from comparing their accomplishments to their friends, cousins, siblings, and even from the parents themselves.
Being Too Strict On Children
Setting high standards, closely supervising them, and meddling with their decisions only result in a damaged relationship with the child, loss of sense of identity of the children, resentment, and even rebellion.
Remember, the parents can't set their children's destination in life but only guide them in their journey.
One of the best parenting tips in Singapore is letting your child discover life and themselves. It could be the easy and hard way. Either way, it motivates them to know that their parents are there to support them.
Micromanaging a child takes their opportunity to become independent, learn, take responsibility and accountability for their actions, and weigh their decisions-- which are the foundations of maturity.
Conclusion
Being a parent is not easy. There are many things parents worry about, from family to work down to bills. Because parents are too occupied with their responsibilities, they sometimes give statements and do things to their children that demotivates them unintentionally.
There is no accurate parenting tips article or guidebook in Singapore. It is because there is no perfect parent. But parents have the opportunity to nurture the best child.
Carean Oh
Carean Oh helps educators and even parents to raise a better generation through education and fundamental real-life lessons and skills. Visit Carean Oh today.
